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Hope for Widows (and their friends)

“I rest in who God is to get me though my day. And that, I think, is what the hope for widows is.”  — Marilyn Nutter

 Twenty-eight hundred women a day are widowed in the US. For those women, everything changes. 

 “A widow has not only lost her husband, but she has lost the life that she knew,” says Marilyn Nutter. “And life looks dramatically different.”

 Nutter knows there are better and worse ways to comfort the widows in our lives. A widow herself since 2011, her new book is Hope for Widows: Reflections on Mourning, Living, and Change.

 “If we can’t say something that can be encouraging and not judgmental, then just be present,” Nutter says. “Put your arm around that person.”

 While more than half of the women in the US over the age of 75 are widows, the average age a woman becomes a widow is 59 years old. No matter the age, there’s grief, loneliness, anger, and disappointment.

 “I don’t think we can ever prepare emotionally for losing your spouse,” Nutter says. But there are some nuts-and-bolts things people with a living spouse can do now to make life more manageable if they’re widowed someday. We can learn, right now, the essential tasks our spouses usually shoulder, whether it’s changing the household air filters, paying the bills, or making travel arrangements. 

 “You need to be prepared, practically,” Nutter says. “It’s still not going to be easy. But if you can have some practical things in place, that would make it more manageable when your body is exhausted, and your brain can’t think.”

 Randy Nutter died while on the couple’s cross-country Christmas visit to their children. Through Marilyn Nutter’s loneliness and discouragement, she hung onto God and who she knew Him to be. She knows that God is not only her hope, but the hope for widows. 

 “God is faithful to keep His promises. He hasn’t made a promise that He hasn’t kept. And so, when I think of hope, I think of hope as a person. Biblical hope rests in who God is and who He says He is. And that is where I have found Him to be faithful.”

 We invite you to listen to our 16-minute podcast.

 Learn more about Marilyn Nutter here.