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Tag: #insideout

Inside Out – Managing Holiday Conflict – 11/15/23

Inside Out – Managing Holiday Conflict – 11/15/23

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Inside Out:  Managing Family Conflict During the Holidays 

                • Ways to prepare
                • What we can do, and what to avoid
                • Who can offer you comfort?

Do upcoming holiday gatherings already have your stomach in knots? A veteran counselor with Focus on the Family suggests thinking ahead of time about how both historic family dynamics and differing personal opinions will play into how the day unfolds.       

 “I think it’s also constructive to look at what is our attitude towards the person or the people that we’re going to be spending time with?” says Glenn Lutjens, a licensed family therapist with 28 years of experience. “Are there things that we can appreciate about them? And if I’m appreciative of someone, I’m probably going to be more understanding of them. I’m probably going to accept maybe a little bit of their quirks.”  

 Lutjens points out that it’s really okay for people to disagree, in a respectful way.  “I think probably one of the best sentences in the English language is this: ‘You and I see this differently.’ What is there to say after that? The person has their opinion, you have yours.”

 If you are anxious, Lutjens encourages you with the truth that God accompanies you. “I would say probably the most important thing is to realize God is going to be with you. You’re not there on your own. The Spirit of God—if you’ve received God’s free gift of salvation through faith in Christ—He’s going to be with you. And realize that that presence is going to be important.”  

 Learn more about Glenn Lutjens and Focus here. 

Inside Out – Biblical Worldview – Barna Research – 11/01/23

Inside Out – Biblical Worldview – Barna Research – 11/01/23

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 16:34 — 22.8MB)

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We develop our way of looking at the world—our worldview—before we turn 13.

Remarkably, new research finds that fewer than one in ten parents think through how to guide their children spiritually during those critical years.  

Dr. George Barna directs the Cultural Research Center at Arizona Christian University and includes these findings in his new book Raising Spiritual Champions: Nurturing Your Child’s Heart, Mind and Soul. “Everybody has a worldview. You need a worldview to get through the day,” Barna says. “So children are going to develop a worldview whether their parents are involved in it or not. That is a vacuum that has to be filled.” 

If parents don’t work toward developing their children’s spiritual life, other worldviews will fill that void. “Without their parents being there to help guide them, they’re just doing the best they can to make sense of it all.” Barna offers ways to help parents to live out their roles as disciple-makers.  “The first of those is to recognize that God gave them these children to raise up to be disciples,” he says.  So it’s important to be intentional and not outsource this critical part of parenting.  

“They have to have not only a commitment, but a plan to take in these children during those formative 12 years, and do everything they can to lead them down the right path.” That begins by knowing what beliefs you as a parent want your children to embrace.  “Why? Because we do what we believe. In essence, your worldview is based on your beliefs, that then gets translated into behavior,” he says.  

“The only way that you can be Christlike is to think like Jesus so that you can live like Jesus.” 

Children see when stated beliefs are not reflected in behavior.  “Kids don’t trust their parents anymore because their parents say one thing and do another. You want to get to your kids? Model the beliefs that you’re trying to teach them. When they see you live it out, then they’re going to say, ‘Okay, I see it. It works. My parents believe it. I’m going to run with it.’” 

Underlying all of this, Dr. George Barna recommends that Christian parents bear in mind the context of all of their parenting.  “Parenting is a vital battle in the spiritual war in which we live,” he says. “We have to be aware of the nature of that battle if we’re going to fight it well.” 

Follow-up links for more information and inspiration:

Inside Out – Avoid “sketchy views” about God – 10/04/23

Inside Out – Avoid “sketchy views” about God – 10/04/23

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 9:40 — 13.3MB)

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If our understanding of who God is and how He works in the world doesn’t have a foundation in the Bible, it’s possible that we hold “sketchy views.”

A great many things work to pull us away from Jesus Christ. That’s not news. “The Scripture teaches us that the world, the flesh, and the devil are all going to be agents of temptation for us,” says Dr. Daniel DeWitt. The pull away from Christ can feel stronger if we’ve based our view of who God is on something other than Scripture. 

“I think that often Christian young people will make their experience in the world the chief authority by which they think about God,” he says. “And I’m reminded of a line from a Christian rap artist who said, ‘God made you in His image, and He didn’t ask you to return the favor.’” He believes that the way we think about God is the most important thing about us. DeWitt says we develop poor theology, or what he calls “sketchy views,” if our faith is unexamined or unfounded. We also have “sketchy views” if our beliefs are true but neglect love, or if they contradict the Bible. 

“We need to test everything by Scripture. And that means even the teachings of people we really might appreciate or enjoy. We always want to come back to Scripture as our ultimate authority.” 

We all know people who are deconstructing their faith–pulling it apart and examining what they’ve believed. DeWitt says the process may help them jettison aspects of the faith that were not actually based on what God says about Himself in Scripture.  “If they’re deconstructing an unfounded faith or an unbiblical faith, the deconstruction could be helpful to the degree that the goal is, in the end, to construct something new, and more reliable,” he says. “My prayer would be for young people that they’re working through these issues because, Lord willing, this is God’s way of refining what they truly do believe. And if on the back end there’s no belief at all, may the Gospel be demonstrated as the power of God to save them.” 

 

Dr. Daniel DeWitt is a senior fellow at Missouri’s Southwest Baptist University and leads the Center for Worldview and Culture. His newest book is Sketchy Views: A Beginner’s Guide to Making Sense of God.Learn more about Dr. Daniel DeWitt and his writings here and here. 

Inside Out – When your friend is hurting – 09/20/23

Inside Out – When your friend is hurting – 09/20/23

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When a friend is suffering, we want to help, but so many of us just don’t know how, or feel inadequate for the task. 

Vaneetha Rendall Risner is familiar with suffering. She also knows how it can draw us to God. Her first suggestion for those of us who don’t know how to support a hurting friend is to pray. Risner grew closer to God through her own suffering: polio, partial paralysis, bullying, the death of a child, an unfaithful spouse, and an unwanted divorce. She knows the value of friends showing up. 

“We should pray for their needs—like their spiritual needs, their emotional needs, their physical needs–that they would turn to the Lord and find peace. That’s the biggest thing: just that they would find God in their suffering,” she says. “Show up at their doorsteps, go to the hospitals, sit in the waiting room, ask them if they want company to go somewhere. Just be there,” she says. “Jesus, we see Him in the Garden of Gethsemane, and He just wanted His disciples with Him, so presence is such a powerful thing.” 

And if your friend has been hurting for a while but you’ve never known how to help, Risner says showing up even now has value. Show up, encourage, and listen.

“I would also say, ‘It’s never too late.’ If something really hard happened to a friend and it’s been months, even, you can still reach out. Don’t think, ‘I wasn’t there in the middle of the crisis, I can’t be there now.’  It’s never too late to reach out.” 

Risner’s Desiring God article that inspired this conversation is titled “S.L.O.W.: How to Love Suffering People.” Learn more about Vaneetha Rendall Risner here.

Inside Out – Are you a Parenting-centered couple, or a Couple-centered couple? – 09/06/23

Inside Out – Are you a Parenting-centered couple, or a Couple-centered couple? – 09/06/23

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Parents can be tempted to make the children the family’s highest priority. But giving our children the best of our time and attention is not actually what’s best for them, according to Dr. Greg Smalley.  

Smalley is an author and speaker who serves as vice president of Marriage at Focus on the Family. He says that your children benefit when you make your marriage the priority.    

“When our marriage is healthy, everybody wins,” Smalley says. 

Giving the marriage priority status means taking the time to stay up to date on your spouse’s hopes and feelings.  “We have to continually be rediscovering our spouse,” he says. 

It also means making a habit of talking through the times you hurt each other along the way.   “We have to repair when we have arguments and when we have conflict and when we hurt each other,” Smalley says. “We’ve got to be willing to repair.” 

Everyone in a family benefits when spouses commit to the work of deepening their marriage.  “I think if couples are pursuing each other, keeping current and re-discovering each other and then repairing when those conflicts happen, man, those two things alone are going to take us so far as far as staying connected in our marriage,” he says. 

Learn more about Dr. Greg Smalley here and here.

Inside Out – Finding Unity, We are Agents of Grace – 08/23/23

Inside Out – Finding Unity, We are Agents of Grace – 08/23/23

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Bridging divides — and loving as Jesus loved — amid this era of conflict, in the church and in the culture:

“Strive actively for peace”

Conflict over presidential politics and pandemic precautions revealed the substantial divisions between Christians that we live with today. “The divisions that we’re seeing in the American church—the conversations—are not different than the ones that are happening in the world. Every institution is going through this,” says pastor and author Daniel Darling. “But as Christians we have an opportunity to model something different. That Jesus said that the world would know that we are His by the way we love each other.”  

Darling writes about which things should divide us — and which things should not — in his new book Agents of Grace.  

“I think part of that is understanding the things that we need to contend for, right?” he asks. “Paul says to Timothy ‘fight the good fight.’ And then there are other things that are important but not ultimate, right? He also tells Timothy, later in 2 Timothy, to avoid stupid and foolish questions.” We should be able to live in unity with believers who differ with us on the less important choices that are part of living as a Christian. If there’s going to be division, it should only be to defend what’s essential to the Gospel.   

“I think we have that upside down a little bit,” Darling says, “and we’ve succumbed to the sort of divisiveness of the spirit of the age.” 

So how do we learn to bridge divides and love as Jesus loved? One way, Darling suggests, is to choose not to assume bad motives on the part of believers we disagree with. Another way is to faithfully hold on to our friends, even when we disagree with them.  “These are hard and tumultuous times, and the more that we hang on to our friendships, the more that we love our brothers and sisters, the more we can do together. I think the Enemy—Satan—really wants to divide Christians and get us distracted so that we can’t fulfill the mission of God,” Darling says. 

That said, Darling sees many reasons to hold onto hope for the Church.  “God is active and alive today. We should ask ourselves, ‘What is God up to? What is God doing? What is He about to do in the world? And how do we join Him?’” 

Learn more about Daniel Darling here and here. 

Inside Out – How to Find a Congregation – 08/09/23

Inside Out – How to Find a Congregation – 08/09/23

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Inside Out: The Search for a Church that Feels Like Home

We’re called to be part of a church, but looking for one is difficult. Writer and speaker Michelle Morin talks about why it’s hard, what to keep in mind, and why it matters that we’re part of one. 

Searching for a congregation is difficult for many people. “I think it’s hard because it takes us out of our comfort zone,” says writer and speaker Michele Morin. “Something has happened to jostle us and make us take the risk of moving somewhere else where we don’t know the routine, we don’t know how things are done. We want to get our needs met, we want fulfilling worship, we want all these things, and we need to look to God for those things rather than expecting a quote-unquote perfect church to swoop in and make us happy,” she says. 

She feels she has learned from her own church search decades ago. “One thing that I wished we had done is just dialed back the perfect-ometer a little bit. We were looking for the perfect church,” she says.  

For those on that search, she suggests making a short list of non-negotiables before you start visiting. “And then make peace with the fact that you’re going into an imperfect situation,” she says. “The truth is that all we have available to attend worship and sit in pews is imperfect, sinful people. And we’re part of that problem ourselves.”  But it’s that sandpaper of our imperfection that helps reshape us.  And those already at home in a congregation have the chance to make the experience better for those who visit.     “I don’t think we have to be at our own dining room table to exercise hospitality. There’s a pew hospitality that we need to be aware of as believers and to just be the welcome. “Church is like practice for someday when we’re with the Lord and all of our longings are fulfilled. Well, that’s certainly not going to happen on this planet, and so we experience a tiny little taste of that in our home church, and I want to be that welcoming person,” Morin says.  

No church is perfect. But we’re called to it, and being part of one gives us a chance to love others the way God loves us.  

Learn more about Michele Morin here and here. 

 

Inside Out – Teaching Children the Names of Jesus – 07/26/23

Inside Out – Teaching Children the Names of Jesus – 07/26/23

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“Teaching the Names of Jesus”

It’s helpful to use simple terms when we teach children about God. It also can be clarifying for adults, says pastor and author Jimmy Dodd.  

“It’s really important to be able to just explain theology on a really, really basic level,” he says.  

Jimmy Dodd and Sally Dodd are coauthors of the new children’s prayer guide The Magnificent Names of Jesus.  “Just to think about the names of Jesus and just actually remember those can have an impact, I think, upon the family, upon the church, upon our community,” Dodd says. That’s because knowing Jesus’ names help us know His character.   

“Jesus is, in lots of ways, He’s like a diamond. And there are just lots of facets,” he says. “As you turn that diamond you see these different facets. Being familiar with those facets can help us, as adults, remember what God has promised—and what He hasn’t promised.  

“I think that sometimes as adults we hold God in contempt for promises that He never made,” he says. “And so let’s hold on to those promises that He has made.” 

Learn more about Jimmy Dodd here. 

 

Your world, your challenges, your faith. When the faith within engages the world without, there’s power. It’s living life from the Inside Out.  Martha Manikas-Foster hosts the “Inside Out” feature on Family Life, on the air and online.

 

Inside Out – Glenn Daman – Encouragement for Rural Churches – 06/14/23

Inside Out – Glenn Daman – Encouragement for Rural Churches – 06/14/23

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Rural Churches Face Post-Pandemic Challenges … with Resilience and an Encouraged Theology

Although resilient, small rural churches are contending with fallout from the pandemic.  “There were some differing opinions and strongly held, so I think that we need to reconnect and move beyond that,” says author, pastor, and professor Glenn Daman. His 2018 book focusing on rural churches, The Forgotten Church, received Christianity Today‘s Award of Merit for The Church/Pastoral Leadership.

Daman points out that the pandemic also revealed the impact of media content and the internet on how people think–even within rural churches. The internet guides users to perspectives similar to what they’ve already sought out, so people often are not hearing opinions that challenge what they’ve been exposed to. “So, in some ways, the greatest threat to the distorting of truth is ourselves,” he says.

How can church leaders respond to the changed cultural landscape after COVID? “I think we continually have to challenge people to think biblically,” he says. “The politician is not the person we’re to turn to for truth. We need to be turning to Scripture and to the foundation of what the Scripture teaches as we form our perspective on our world and on our culture.”

Daman assures us that there’s reason for pastors and leaders to feel encouraged. “The biggest thing we need to remember in all this is God’s the one who builds the church. He didn’t say, ‘You go out and build the Church.’ He says, ‘Upon this rock I will build my Church.’ ‘Some plant, some water, but I will build the Church.’ God is still building His Church. And nothing can stop that,” Daman says. “Our job is to be faithful. Preach His Word. Love the people. And if we do that, we’re being effective regardless of what the outward results are. Because God is at work.”

 Listen to our 18-minute conversation to hear about Glenn Daman’s newest book, The Lighthouse.

For further insights and inspiration on these matters:

  • Learn more about Glenn Daman here. 
  • RuralMinistry.net has reflections on congregational vitality, resources for training and equipping leadership from the membership, and practical encouragement from Glenn Daman and others on how to sustain faithful ministry in rural churches (and small churches in other locations too).

 

Inside Out – Toxic Screens – Melanie Hempe – 05/31/23

Inside Out – Toxic Screens – Melanie Hempe – 05/31/23

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Your Child’s Addiction to Toxic Screens 

Research supports what many parents already know: toxic screens are hurting their children’s mental health.

Melanie Hempe, a retired RN and founder of the not-for-profit ScreenStrong, works with families to eliminate childhood screen dependency.

Video games, social media, and pornography are the most problematic. “They structurally will change the brain and increase the dopamine in your kid’s brain,” Hempe says, “and this sets your child up for addiction now and in the future.”

They also displace time children need for developing social and life skills. “Screens, and especially video games, will detach our kids from their family,” she adds. “So it’s the saddest, most lasting part of the story: the game becomes their family and you lose your kids, and that’s what a lot of families are struggling with today.”

Part of the solution is to limit the temptation. No child needs a smartphone, she asserts. It’s not a rite of passage. A laptop for homework and a talk-and-text phone for communication will cover their needs.

“You are not denying or taking away anything. You are giving them a much bigger life and the freedom to love childhood again. You get your kids back and they love you for loving them so much to choose this counter-cultural path. The bonus is that you are not setting them up for addiction down the road, either.”

Further information on this significant topic:

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